Outside Looking In

How can they do that?
Float so
Effortlessly
Through the world,
Radiating charm and sophistication.
Perfection is their middle name
For
They can’t use it as a goal
Any longer.
They bask in the glow
Of their own smiles while a
Chill slices through
My insecurities.
What are they thinking?
What are they thinking?
They’re looking at me.
I am petrified with
Fear
As I look onto a world
Where I
Will never
Belong.

A Tangible Perspective

I see the world,
And I feel it.
Whether it be a new acquaintance
Or a new ice cream flavor,
It dances across my skin
In a pattern I have never experienced before.
I have shaken hands with many strangers
And no two people are the same.
No two letters are the same.
No two numbers.
Nor two colors.
But how I am supposed to explain to you,
That the letter A is a determined girl,
Or that the color green is a boy, feisty yet relaxed?
How I am to convey
How the number 4 feels about 6,
And that all he needs is his wingman 2
To tell her how much he likes her?
It’s difficult to show my perspective
To a world of people who don’t understand
That G and H have made a beautiful family together,
And that 3 is the most obnoxious person I have ever met.
Because when I say I’m feeling purple today,
People respond, “No, dear. The expression is ‘I’m feeling blue’.”
But I am not feeling blue.
Sometimes I feel like purple,
Or like the letter C,
Or like 7 and 13 have gotten together to have a tea party.
Sometimes L delivers flowers to the people she loves
And sometimes 5 ruins everything
And sometimes yellow fights with blue
With green caught right in the middle.
I view the entire world in a completely different perspective
As I feel everything grace my skin,
Though it doesn’t mean I’m wrong.
Yet why so often do I feel like Z,
The beautiful, headstrong leader so long forgotten?
Whenever I feel this way,
I just remember,
That baby I is going to grow up to be a strong man one day,
And that red and blue make the most beautiful baby girl.
How the marriage of 7 and 10 was a grandiose occasion,
And how quaint the twins M and N look
On a spring day.

How when 4 is paired up with 2
He falls in love all over again.

Sincerely Yours

He left her a letter.
It was short,
Maybe five sentences.
But that doesn’t matter.
She read the letter.
Each and every word
Cut her soul apart.
But what it said doesn’t matter.
Because in maybe five short sentences
He obliterated
A lifetime of possibilities.
She cried over the letter.
So did he.
Though, he’d never admit it.
But that doesn’t matter.
He wrote maybe five sentences.
He made a bomb.
He blew up the future.
His handwriting was steady.
The ink bled with her tears.
It was signed sincerely yours.

She never forgot him.
He never moved on.
It was signed sincerely yours.

One Year Later

It’s time to celebrate!

Today, On Hating People is one year old!

A lot has happened this past year, and I just want to thank each and every one of you who stuck around to see exactly where my erratic thoughts were going to go. I love each and every one of my followers and I thank everyone who commented or liked anything I posted. It makes me feel so wonderful to know I have such a supportive community when it comes to my writing, especially when I don’t believe it’s the absolute best.

So happy birthday, On Hating People.

May there be many more years to come.

To Reflection, With Love

Dear reflection,

I realized,
Looking in the mirror today,
That you are not the girl
Who looked back at me
Yesterday.
Your eyes are darker,
More hollow,
As though the life has been sucked from them.
The windows to your soul are empty.
Your skin,
Paler and more sallow than before,
Is covered in so many blemishes
That trying to conceal them
Is a laughable not laudable effort.
You’re slipping, and
I could swear
I could see the cracks
Breaking out across your glassy facade.
I could swear
You heard my heart shatter.
You’re worrying me, you know.
One person can only take so much.
Yes, darling.
Even you.
So when I see you again tomorrow morning,
Earlier than either of us would like to consider,
I hope that those circles below your eyes have
Disappeared without makeup.
I want you to shine again.
Even a little bit at a time.

Definitive Magic

The gap that exists between two cells
Is so small it’s infinite.
You’ll never really touch anything
As your atoms play ping pong
With electrons
That move so quickly that
It’s like they were never even there.
The known universe behaves by certain laws,
Outlined by nature and
Written by humans,
They stand as facts that cannot be broken
Until they are discovered to be untrue.
Then they are shattered like
Little glass mistakes.
Everything around you is a chemical reaction, a result,
For the same matter that existed
Billions of years ago
Has been changed somehow
To result in what you see.
Though you don’t ever really see anything,
If you think about it.
Just the reflection of light.
So whenever I approach a problem,
A serious quandary
That seems like the answer
Is infinitely far away,
I simply pick up my pencil and
Set to work, for
It’s practically the same thing,
Isn’t it?

The Outside Introspection of a Superhuman

Sweet Jesus,
You’re one hell of a person.
With those wide eyes drinking in the world
And those cute little lips pressed in one thin line,
I watch as you observe everything around you
Without parting them once.
Sure, you’ll hold your tongue until it bleeds sometimes,
But you don’t want to disturb the silence.
I don’t blame you,
If I saw something so perfect,
I would be damned pressed
To do anything to ruin that.
Sometimes when I notice your little look of concentration
I can’t help wonder
What the universe must look like
Through those two dark lenses,
What you could possibly see
That could be worth the observation.
I mean, I know how you see some things.
Especially yourself,
And sometimes I wish you’d turn those x-ray eyes off
When you look at yourself in the mirror.
Maybe try my eyes on once.
Because I know everything you do,
All the stress you put on yourself to be perfect,
And I’d be damned if you ever
Tried seeing what you accomplished
Ahead of what you’ve lost.
You say you’re only human,
And I know,
I know you’re only human
But I swear,
No other could do all you do.
You’re one hell of a human, you know that?
You’re capable of doing some truly wonderful things,
Especially when you feel like you can’t.
So spread those folded wings to the sky,
Speak your golden words onto this earth
And show the world how truly beautiful you are
Behind those eyes.
How beautiful I know you are.
How beautiful I know you can be.
And for God’s sakes, woman

Breathe.
Life isn’t all about learning and seeing.
It’s about doing too.
So live.